Can we have a football quiz please?

Through the years of supporting Glentoran FC, Northern Ireland, Glasgow Rangers FC and AFC Bournemouth, my football brain has also taken in many other matches unlinked to my favourite clubs. In fact, aged 15 I used to watch, play and sleep football. Through this i built up a huge football knowledge which I sometimes turn to when bored in work and needing to get work mates thinking. I make up my own football quizzes. I'll start with a sample...

1. Which stadium in England is the highest above sea level?
2. Who is the oldest football club in the world?
3. Name two teams who have lost the FA Cup Final 4-0 since 1980
4. Who were tha last all English 11 to win an FA Cup Final?
5. Name 10 teams currently in divisions 2, 3 and 4 who have been in European Competition since 1990
6. Which French player scored the last hat-trick at Wembley before the Premier League began?
7. Who made their last England cap in the 5-1 win over Germany in 2001?
8. At what stadium did Tottenham play their 1995 Intertoto Cup matches?
9. Who was the last AFC Bournemouth player to score in the World Cup Finals (while at AFC Bournemouth)?
10. Who is the only player to have played a competitive match at League or Cup level in England, Scotland, Wales, Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland?

Where did you go when things went wrong for you? - The Bluetones live in Poole

One of the calm survivors of the "britpop era" happens to be the Bluetones. They are still going, having had their biggest hits in the 1995 - 1998 era, when British Guitar music and young bands were at the core of music popularity. Now the kids wouldn't even have heard of Mark Morriss, or even know that he had a brother called Adam, let alone know that he fronts a band called The Bluetones. I owned their first 3 albums (Expecting To Fly, Return To The Last Chance Saloon & Science And Nature) and managed to see them live in the Limelight in Belfast, Northern Ireland back in December 2000. That was a great gig. raw live music, clear microphones and speakers and those big big hits that I used to know and love. Where were you when these songs hit the charts?:
- Bluetonic ("There's no heart you can't melt with a certain little smile")
- Slight Return ("Where did you go when things went wrong for you?")
- Marblehead Johnson ("Tonight I'm wound tighter than a watch spring")
- Solomon Bites The Worm ("Pack up your troubles, take all you can carry")
- If ("When you try to make a difference...")

I remember them all first time round, bought the singles, bought the albums and got into them. The band are from Hounslow on the edge of London. It was announced during early summer 2005 that they were touring again. I also bought their previous album, Luxembourg, but had assumed somehow they'd split up or were simply no longer releasing records. How wrong I was, and how surprised I was that they were due to play the very very tiny and low key "Mr. Kyps" in Poole. I expected them to play in a much bigger arena than that to a bigger audience. But even in 2005, there were still tickets available and it only held around 500 I think. At the time I was working down on Bournemouth Seafront mainly at Best Break and Ben Paulley from work had said he was going with two mates (rather band members and mates, James and Andy from The Waves). I spread the word around work, and even asked my good friends Jody, Clare and Neil. None of themmuns were free, but fellow supervisor from work, Tom said he would go. I got the tickets ordered over the phone to be posted out, but then realised I had moved house and the old house had no letterbox as the estate agents locked the front porch doors. It was 2 days before the concert and I had to get the estate agents to give me a lift with the key to my old house to collect the tickets. Luckily it hadn't rained and they were left in an envelope just beside the porch door. Me and Tom both finished work at 4 pm that day and planned a pub crawl at Parkstone of all places, the location in nearby Poole where the gig was. After work I walked home to Cranborne House and then to the main train station, where I didn't bother paying for a ticket to go 2 stops to Parkstone. Once out at Parkstone, I met Tom there and we decided to do a very quick pub tour of Parkstone before the gig. First stop was The Cow. I had a nice bitter pint in the Dorset sun. Then we headed across the park to Le Bateau, which is really a Bistro. We decided to pint it though and enjoyed another beer in there. Just before the gig, we decided to have another beer just on the wee street beside the venue. All these pubs were within 5 minute walk of each other, the venue and the train station. This pub was The Bermuda Triangle. After that it was across into Mr. Kyps to watch The Bluetones, supporter by Mohair.

It was my first time in the venue, and immediately I liked it. Loud, atmospheric and clear was what I was thinking as the support act Mohair played. Tom liked the support act, I didn't, I was hotly anticipating The Bluetones. They came out, dressed well like English gentlemen and they launched into many an old classic, including my personal favourite "Castlerock" (the song being not even remotely related to the seaside town of the same name in northern Northern Ireland) which was delivered at a slow cautious pace, allowing me to sing out the lines "heaven feels so close; it doesn't feel so great" and "i think i might be losing my way" and "yesterday has gone but time is on my side." The night did become a bit of a haze as I drank a few more pints, the bar was so close to the stage, and with the venue not full, I could work my way back to the front very easily, with my pint. I love music venues like that! I met the lovely Sarah "Hong Kong" at this gig, and went out with her a few weeks later, sadly never to see her again. That night Mark Morriss announced the Bluetones had new material being released, and they promoted it by playing a song from the upcoming "Serenity Now" EP, as well as next single "My Neighbours House". Excellent B-sides were thrown in as well, "Don't Stand Me Down" and "I Was A Teenage Jesus" made the set very eclectic. Even nicer with the several changes of instrumental, from the melancholy mandolin strumming of "Keep The Home Fires Burning", the Bluetones gave us the welcome Britpop blast for the night, with the place and me going wild for them two hits we'll always remember:
Slight Return and of course eponymous hit song which made them famous - BLUETONIC!

Soon the gig was over and we had faded into the night catching the last bus home. The Bluetones had rocked Mr Kyps and given it their all. It was pleasing to hear them 10 years after their prime, knowing they hadn't lost that youthful yest.

Pubs visited - The Cow, Le Bateau Bistro, The Bermuda Triangle, Mr. Kyps.

Who went - Jonny Blair, Tom, Ben Paulley, Andy Galliers, James Corbin.

When - Middle of August 2005.

Official Bluetones Website - http://www.bluetones.info/

BLUETONIC, live in 1996:

The Day We Did Colchester....

Crossing into Essex was just something that had to be done by the SOENISC. We had held many meetings in the south of England during our first year of existence, but these were mainly in the south west (Bournemouth, Weymouth, Torquay, Southampton) or as random as Cowes, on the Isle of Wight. Then in late 2006, I became interested in the phenomenom of Colchester United FC. This fascination began in October 2005 when I visited Layer Road to watch the Cherries win 1-0 in the last minute. I enjoyed the trip to Colchester, in Essex and always felt I should go back. It was in late 2006 that Colchester United finally got recognition as a great team. They started beating all the "big boys" at home. During their first season in The Championship, Colchester lost maybe only 2 home matches as they were within a few points of the final play off spot. Some achievement for a club which has a very old stadium, averages 5,000 fans and is so close to London that kids probably choose West Ham, Chelsea or Tottenham ahead of the Us. During that season 2006 - 2007 saw home wins over the likes of Leeds, Southampton, Southend, Wolves and a 4-0 rout of Sheffield Wednesday. I suggested the SOENISC should pay a visit to this wee stadium which was tidy and cosy and somehow resembled Bangor FC's Clandeboye Park.

This idea was put on hold and not really developed any further when it came to deciding on our first meetings of 2008. Time in the football season was running out and we wanted to make sure we met some Northern Ireland internationals before the season was out. The season 2007 - 2008 had already seen us meet as a club in Exeter, Weymouth and Bath. A quick check of the football season fixtures and Tim Beattie pinpointed the Colchester United v. Cardiff City match in mid March for a meeting, and the chance to meet Warren Feeney and Tony Capaldi of Cardiff, and also at Colchester was Aidan Davison, who once was a Northern Ireland goalkeeper, for those who care to remember him. It was all set in stone fairly soon after, and on Saturday 15th March 2008, SOE NISC were set for Colchester in Essex. It was to be my second trip to the stadium, and a very eagerly anticipated meeting.

Following a mammoth turnout of 14 to the Bath meeting in February, it was felt the Colchester meeting would attract much less club members, as it was only 5 or 6 weeks later, and involved going north east from London. It didn't stop the hard core, and confirmed on the day we had 8. I began the usual round of media build up, getting small publicity on about 3 local Colchester tourist sites, as well as the CUFC official club forum and an unofficial club forum. The news article also featured on a website of an Essex newspaper. The biggest publicity for us, though was a preview and photo on the main page of the Colchester United FC website the day before the match. We also appeared with a photo in the club programme. This was all thanks to Matt Hudson, who was the media/PR guy at Colchester United FC. A really nice guy, Matt, who also arranged for the players to meet with us, and informed us about Steve Downey, a Belfast man who was a youth coach at Colchester United. This was news to us, and an extra Norn Iron connection ahead of the trip.

The original plan was to meet in a wee pub, whose name I cannot remember (maybe The Pig, or The Dragoon) and then head to the CUSA Corner Bar before the match at 3 pm kick off. However on speaking to Matt Hudson, he offered us, the entire club a full guided tour of Layer Road, just 2 months before Colchester United would say goodbye forever to their wee stadium. This was an amazing offer and meant we had to adjust our plans slightly, by doing the stadium tour first, before the teams arrived, say around 12.30 pm. After the stadium tour we then headed to the local pub for the meeting and drinks. Then after this, we were welcomed into the Colchester United Supporters Association Corner Bar. A very small cosy wee bar upstairs the club shop, with lots of memorabilia on the walls, lots of popular Us fans, and two lovely barmaids, Jeanette Westlake and Lea Finch. I had actually been in touch with both ladies on e-mail before we went, and I had also posted a few times on the CUFC internet forum looking forward to the visit. The date was Saturday 15th March 2008, the venue was Layer Road, Colchester Essex and it was to be the 16th meeting for the South of England Northern Ireland Supporters Club.

There were actually 9 confirmed guests. 8 of us had got tickets through the club, which I had pre-ordered in Terrace Three, one of the hardcore standing sections. The other person was called "McFaggen", a username from the NI website "Our Wee Country". I had met him before and he seemed a cheeky chap, he had a few times bowled me on the website "Our Wee Country", so although it was nice to have him along, I didn't want him to spoil the culture of the usual SOE NISC day out. He even tried to claim that Colchester isn't in the South of England. A map wouldn't go amiss. I class everything south of Birmingham in the south of England! Anyway all was set, we were ready for the day out and my friend Gemma and I enjoyed some cheap white wine and strawberries at my place the night before the meeting. It was to be a very early start from my place at Ensbury Park, Bournemouth. A few weeks before I had booked firstly the 6 am Megabus from Bournemouth University up to London Victoria. Then we were to use our Oyster Cards and Day Travelcards to get from London Victoria to Liverpool Street, where we could get a direct train to Colchester (central Colchester). Layer Road from there by train was a bit of a task, as it was by bus, so bulk taxis for once would be in order. The whole thing was planned, and my old mate Steve Jones from Bite Communications had kindly let us stay at his, and was coming along for the day out as well. It was the first time I'd seen him since 2007 so that was another chance of a catch up.

Anyhow after about 3 hours sleep, Gemma and I awoke and got ready. Simon McCully had agreed to pick us up and drive us to the university around 5.20 am. We did that and arrived in time for the cheap Megabus. My mate Millwall Neil was also heading to London that day, to watch Millwall, and had also booked onto the same Megabus, yet he joined it in Bournemouth Triangle and we were onboard heading to Victoria!:

Most people slept on the "party bus", including me, but I also enlightened the population with some early morning music featuring Oasis, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Dr Pressure.

Soon we got off at Victoria, got our travelcards and headed on route to Colchester. We wanted to see some sights briefly, so we stopped for very quick photo opportunities at Westminster Abbey, St. Stephen's Tower, The London Eye and Victoria station. We then got a district line train from Westminster to Liverpool Street. This was very handy actually as we were due to meet Steve Jones there, who lived very close by. Wee Jono Crute and Alan Scott would also meet us there for the Essex party train. They had come from Bristol or Bath. Quite some trek for us all in them days. They really were lunatic times. Anyhow once out at Liverpool Street, Millwall Neil decked in his lions shirt, and us all in green stopped and joined us for a very quick pint at Hamilton Hall, the Wetherspoons at the entrance to Liverpool Street Station. I lost Alan Scott, because he was at the other entrance! But soon we had our first pint, before heading to the platform for the train direct to Colchester, or as some less educated English folk like to call it "Coach Da", that even has an Ulster twang to it, we thought as the choice lager of Fosters saw us get two tables and an iPod with NI saws as we left London behind for Essex.

The party train was good craic, though apart from us, the train wasn't very full. As the train zoomed past the main station at Chelmsford, a green shirted man waving a green NI scarf manicly could be seen out the window. It was "McFaggen", though I was to learn of his real name, Barry Hetherington. We had swapped numbers and texted to say he'd be at Chelmsford anyway. Once our train arrived in Colchester, we knew that Barry would be on the next one and we should wait for him. We also waited for Tim Beattie who was driving. Here is what you missed on that there party train:

We posed for photos dressed all in green at Colchester Station and then took two separate taxis direct to Layer Road football ground for our stadium tour. I gave in a quick call to Matt Hudson, who came down to meet us and take us inside for the exclusive guided tour. It was an honour and a priviledge to be given the tour. The stadium may have been old and seen better days, but such was my love for football that i love pieces of history. The stadium was knocked down forever in Summer 2008, just 4 or 5 months after we visited it.

The tour took us past the far corner flag through a small gate and into the away terrace. We were then taken into Terrace Three, where we would stand that afternoon. From there we went past the director's box, as rundown as the one at Glentoran's Oval and as director like as a tea stained mug being handed out to Bill Clinton at Buckingham Palace. Not clean or new. Bur raw and real.


We sat on the benches, got pitchside, posed for more photos with the stadium empty and the players not there yet. Then it was inside through the players tunnel and into the TINY TINY changing rooms and showers. I'm not joking but the Layer Road changing rooms are the smallest I've seen. Great atmosphere though I bet for team camaraderie. Maybe the tight low ceilinged changing rooms are one of the reasons why the Us had such as impressive home record the previous season. This season however, was a different story. The home record was abysmal, and teams were coming and taking the 3 points for fun. They had gotten over the small changing rooms by now. There were 10 of us on the tour, the 8 of us (Scott Gordon couldn't make it at last minute) as well as Matt Hudson and another guy called Neil who wanted to join our tour!
In the changing rooms, the Colchester shirts overlapped each other, the water and shin pads got in the way of walking and the showers were that small you could have been forgiven for touching yer mates willy in the shower. Perhaps for Gemma, the only lady on the tour, the thought of Teddy Sheringham and Carl Duguids penises getting cleaned was a natural thought. I noted the lack of the Teddy Sheringham shirt, understanding my last chance to ever see him play live league football had gone. Teddy Sheringham was a big hero of mine aged 13. When he was at Tottenham Hotspur.

I loved Teddy Sheringham, even changing my name to Teddy and copying his haircut back in 1993. I told school teachers to "call me Teddy." I relaxed in the solace that Teddy Sheringham was still a legend and his final season in the English league had come. I asked Matt if we could meet Teddy that day, but sadly he wasn't around...I also remember the large amount of Red Bull in the home dressing rooms. It was then onward into the away team, Cardiff dressing room where we noticed it was even smaller. Must get hot in there! Must get cosy and managers must get frustrated when teams are playing shit and the anger echoes around four narrow walls. I have been in larger dressing rooms every time I used to play football for 10th Bangor Boys Brigade. The away dressing room was tiny. We seeked out Warren Feeney and Tony Capaldi's shirts for photos (two NI internationals) and I also decided to leave my personalised SOENISC business cards by each hanger! It was Simon and Alan's idea. From the tiny dressing rooms, it was up to the small trophy cabinet, via a not so posh lounge with worn carpet.


I love seeing trophy cabinets. It was nice to see the rise of Colchester United FC. Nicknamed the Us, playing in blue and white stripes, they aren't exactly the fashionable club to support. Especially in an area where West Ham, Ipswich and Norwich have all been Premier League regulars in recent times. All three of those clubs have also made it into Europe, Ipswich Town even scalping Inter Milan in 2001, and Norwich City beating Bayern Munich away back in 1993. All this occurred while Colchester went from non league to the Championship, and had attracted international players from Scotland, Wales, England. They boasted players such as Jamie Cureton, Teddy Sheringham, Neil Danns, Chris Iwelumo. The trophy cabinet proudly showed the "shield" for being runner up in League One, behind their Essex rivals, Southend United. Ironic that Colchester had outlasted them in the division above, as the Shrimpers went straight back down. Just two years before the Us had successfully beaten some big clubs to promotion, including Nottingham Forest, Bradford City. They even managed a 3-0 win away at Sheffield Wednesday the season that the Owls went back up. They were a free scoring team...

However they were now in a relegation battle and survival in the Championship was important. Once we headed through the directors box, Matt Hudson said to me, "that there ladder heads up to the roof, where the TV cameras go. We'll be knocking the stadium down in a few months, so last chances to go up there, do youse wanna go up?" "Too right!!" I said, knowing the lads would be very much up for it, given that we had, in 2006 climbed on a roof over looking Tivoli Square in Copenhagen with the club fleg before the away match with Denmark. Soon we had all climbed up the wee ladder and onto the roof of Layer Road . It was old, worn, manky and unsafe. BUt a great experience. We posed for photos and even got intill the video camera box. It was amazing how close the houses were to the stadium - smallest private car park I've ever seen at a football stadium!


Once down from the stadium roof, the tour ended, we tanked Matt Hudson so much for his hospitality. It will live in my memory for a long time that day. Soon we were all buying match programmes and checking out the wee article on us in there and then it was off to the pub for the official meeting. The 8 of us squeezed into a narrow corner of the pub for the quick meeting. The pub was called "The Drury Arms." On the way in it was funny, because the bouncers saw us all dressed up in green, and knowing that ColU play in blue and white they assumed we were away fans and initially sent us into the wrong part of the pub.

The pub meeting was a very quick two beers and a confirmation of Brighton as the next SOE NISC meeting for the 2008 FA Cup Final (which at the time looked like it could be Cardiff, Barnsley or West Brom, THREE second tier teams). After that a very short walk to the CUSA Corner Bar. I have to say I loved this corner bar. Very cosy, tight, tidy, full of football memorabilia and a wee bit exclusive. We had already got permission from Lea Finch and Jeanette Westlake to mingle in there. They booked us the "snug" which was great. Not having beer on tap was not so great, so we had to settle for cans or bottles. We got speaking to many loyal Colchester fans who seemed quite condemned to relegation. True, they were sitting bottom with a fairly abysmal record. The previous year's vibrancy and free flowing football had deserted them. That excellent home record had also gone walkies. None the less, if they started with a win v. Cardiff that day it could just have been the final lift they needed to get out of the drop zone.

I also enjoyed reading our wee piece in the Colchester United programme. Indeed the highest level of a match day football programme the SOENISC has ever appeared in. It is unlikely that feat will ever be beaten - we were front page website news and made page 21 of a Championship programme. The exact quote from me in there was "at every meeting we dress in green and white and turn a random English location green for the day. Members also bring one random item per person to each meeting. In the past this has included a cardboard NI fan called Zulu, an inflatable crocodile, a guitar and a large variety of headgear!"

From the CUSA bar, we then made our way through the old, worn and traditional terracing turnstiles to the left hand side of the stadium, where Terrace Three was one of the rare English Championship terraces still in existence. Disasters such as the Bradford City stadium fire, Hillsborough etc. have made new legislation for football stadia in the UK. Yet here in 2008, I was very happy to still be able to stand at a high standard of a match. We all got inside just a few minutes before kick off and had to push our way to the back to put our 2 flegs up and fins a wee area with bars to lean on where we could provide our own noise. This was just after my own extensive argument with the peelers/stewards over putting our fleg up. We wanted it behind the nets to make it onto the TV coverage. They wouldn't let me put it there, even though the stand there was entirely empty and acted as a divide between the few Cardiff fans and the Colchester hard core in our wee Terrace Three.

It was dark, noisy, compact and reminded me of shed type venues I'd been to before. We got into our positions, looked ridiculously out of place and started a few chants as the match kicked off. The "Colchester, Colchester, Colchester..." chant didn't make its way into the song books of the locals but we continued none the less. Barry was in fine singing mood and seemed to start his own chants during periods of the first half. The singing and chants didn't last that long. It took Cardiff just 11 minutes to break the deadlock. Poor defending and a easy goal for Paul Parry at the far end of the stadium. After this however only one team was in control, as Colchester showed their fighting spirit. At one point many passes were strung together leading to our chant of "Brazil, its just like watching Brazil...." A chant which later in the week made it onto the BBC Football Websites "chants of the week" section, another claim to fame in the history of SOENISC. Someone amongst us however pointed out that Colchester play in blue and white, so very quickly the chant became "Argentina its just like watching Argentina..." Working class Essex had no idea what had hit it, as 8 Ulstermen tried to inject some life into their local football team, and even comedy into their day. Even if it wasn't funny.

I also got a warning by a steward in the first half for bowling a Cardiff sub who kept standing on the pitch. This of course is illegal as it means there are 12 Cardiff players on the pitch of play. I used a few sware words and got abusive to the Cardiff players. The Colchester fans just laughed. I soon shut up though, and soon it was half time and me and Gemma decided to join the short queue for pies. I enjoyed the pie actually. Squeezed into a very small shed at the edge of the stand was the chippy! It was like a flashback to watching Glentoran in ramshackled stadiums in Ni during the early 90s. I enjoyed the real day football experience. Then the second half began and we were back in play with Colchester still losing 1-0.

Colchester went all out attack, except for one bizarre moment where Cardiff's Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink atacked Dean Gerken in the Us nets. He was sent off, and inspired by Karl Duguid, Colchester took control. We started singing "Stand up for the Oystermen" and "Come on you Us". These were also followed by chants of "I'd rather be from England than from Wales..." much to the amusement of the Coachda hardcore. Then bedlam set in as Colchester levelled. It was looking at one point that "we" might pip Cardiff and get the 3 points to help the relegation fight. But in the end it wasn't to be. Colchester had stumbled again and it finished 1-1. Not really enough with just 8 matches left to same themselves. Cardiff enjoyed the party and rolled onward in search of a trip to Wembley (they eventually lost the FA Cup Final 1-0 to Portsmouth).

There was some more comedy during the second half however, as Cardiff subs came over to the touchline, we noticed ex- World Cup star Trevor Sinclair and Barry started singing "you're old and bald" at him. He took this in good heart, and after the match we called him over for a quick chat and photo opportunity. Truly nice lad. Trevor Sinclair. Also at the final whistle, me and Jono headed over to the player's tunnel, where I summoned Tony Capaldi to meet us after for a chat etc...while this happened we waited in Terrace Three for the crowds to disappear and then headed down to meet Matt Hudson, CUFC media guy. Soon Matt had arranged for Aidan Davison to come and meet us. My previous memories of Aidan Davison in a Northern Ireland shirt were not great actually. He wasted time on by balls during the Norway and Sweden friendly defeats back in 1996. However on meeting Aidan, he was a great guy. He took time out with us, shook hands with us individually and chatted away. He had a scouse accent, had played for Bolton in his prime, as well as his few Norn Iron caps in the mid 1990s under Bryan Hamilton. Aidan told us how his "mam was from Ballymena", and I recollected the two final times I watched him play live - both at Dean Court against AFC Bournemouth, once in a 0-0 draw with Grimsby Town, and another when Colchester won 3-1 way back in September 2004. It was good to see his football spirit hadn't waned and he was now the reserve keeper and goalkeeping coach at Colchester.

It was at this point that we also met the youth coach, Steve Downey from Belfast! Small world really, Steve also joined in the photos as we nonchalantally stroed around the Layer Road pitch while ITV tried to grab some of the players for post match interviews. We were waiting on Warren Feeney and Tony Capaldi of Cardiff at this point. I had also lost my last hope of seeing Teddy Sheringham again, as he was nowhere to be seen. Jono suggested we grab Jimmy Floyd instead, he was over by the touchline signing autographs. I thought no, because he had just been sent off, and we left him as we spotted wee Warren Feeney on the phone pitchside. We summonsed him over, where he told us he was on the phone till his Ma getting the Irish League results. Warren is from the east but supports the Blues :( As we got our photo took with Warren we sang "you're trying hard not to show it, but baby baby we know it, we've got that Warren Feeney..." I think he was a tad embarrassed. I was loving it. A day out in Essex doesn't beat this. We chatted away to Warren for ages, including how he couldn't play in the FA Cup Final as he was cup-tied having appeared for rivals Swansea City earlier in the season. This was the second time I had met up with Warren that season = the time before he scored twice at Dean Court as his Swansea team won 4-1 at the top of the table. He was on loan. There was no sign of Capaldi, and actually he never appeared. We were quite upset about that. Tony Capaldi snubbed his fans and the SOENISC. If yer readin Tony - shame on ye! We supported ye and just wanted a wee chat, photo and autograph and we didn't get it!

After that mayhem died down, it was back to the CUSA Corner Bar, where a very lively and friendly Colchester crowd chatted away to us. I enjoyed chat with the two bar ladies, Lea and Jeanette. I also met Paul Ost in there, your typical hardcore British football fan. Beer, football and days out result regardless. It was also in this bar after sitting down that I first saw the delightful Kathie Ford. Girls in football shirts always have me excited. This one seemed so cute and touchable I melted. Though I kept this to myself at the time, while we watched the other results come in. Bournemouth had baten Yeovil 2-0 at home. Soon Tim Beattie and Barry Hetherington had gone home, which left just 6 of us in our group. The Col U fans posed for some photos with us, before inviting us to the Fat Cat. We were heading to London anyway so thought why hot?! Once in there we continued drinking, still dressed ridiculously and getting away with it. At one point I tried to swop t-shirts with the bar lady, but she didn't particularly want a sweaty NI tap. Maybe I just wanted the thrill of it all. Simon McCully said his goodbyes by then, leaving just 5 of us - me, Gemma, Steve, Alan and wee Jono. However Jono was downing the cider like tomorrow didn't exist and he was getting beyond the limit! It didn't look like he was making the last train till Bristol/Bath.

Neither were the rest of us ready to leave this lovely wee Essex Town. The beers flowed as the pretty young Kathie Ford joined me at the table. I flirted ridiculously with her, managed to get her phone number and a potential date lined up. This was also inspired by Alan Scott and Gemma. I also gave Kathie my edible green and white snake. While I kept the trademark rubber one. I chatted away to Kathie, without doubt the prettiest and most intelligent lady I had met for a while. Soon though we decided to head on, after saying my byes to Kathie. I hoped I would see her again some time, though sadly I never did. If she's out there somewhere it'd be nice to hear back. At this point we realised we were miles and miles from Colchester central train station. That was the one we needed to get back to London. We would get out at Liverpool Street and kindly we could all stay at my mate Steves. The night was young. We boarded taxis to ASDA, where we got a carryout and headed onto a train to Liverpool Street. Jono was feeling very rough and boaked up onboard the train. A Bob Marley lookalike looked on, as we realised the sick bits were all over his green and white Nigeria fleg. Not Marleys, but Jonos. It was hard to do a clean up on the train, we just moved seats, while I called his Ma to say he was alright, in safe hands and would be staying the night in London. 2 beers later and we were there at Liverpool Street, exiting a carriage full of barf and vomit. "Youth is wasted on the young."

Arrival back at Steve's flat saw us crack open a final beer while Jono got cleaned up. I fell asleep early, while Alan and Steve played computer games. The night had ended and the morning rain brought a sense of calm and freshness. I said bye and thanks to Steve for letting us all stay, and to his girlfriend Flavia for putting up with us. We were some crowd. I was a nuisance in them days of football and alcohol...At Aldgate East station we went our separate ways. Alan and Jono headed off, while me and Gemma got a district line train to Embankment. We wanted some sight seeing and there was also a St. Patricks Day festival on. The sight seeing began with photos of the SOE NISC fleg by the MI5 HQ and Gordon Brown's house at 10 Downing Street. We saw Westminster Abbey and Charing Cross before going to Victoria to catch our bus back to Bournemouth. Well, we didn't. We met Steve and Flavia and decided on a random spontaneous pub crawl, if we could change our bus tickets for nothing. We could...a lady and man headed on the later bus wanted the earlier one, so we did a straight swop, even though they were heading to Portsmouth and we were heading to Bournemouth. The buses weren't full so we were lucky...

I don't recall much of the pub crawl. In those days life was a blur. ironic in this instance as the band blur were from Colchester in Essex and we had just done our meeting there. Great day out, fab memories and a love kiss out to the young Kathie Ford...Wherever she is!

When was it? - Sardi 15th March 2008.

Bars visited - Hamilton Hall (JD Wetherspoons), Train carryout bar loyal, The Drury, CUSA Corner Bar, The Fat Cat.

How English people pronounce Colchester - COACHDA

Who went? - Jonny Blair, Simon McCully, Jono Crute, Steve Jones, Gemma Mornin, Tim Beattie, Barry Hetherington, Alan Scott.

PLayers met - Warren Feeney, Trevor Sinclair, Aidan Davison, Steve Downey (Youth Coach at CUFC).

* Cardiff City's Tony Capaldi refused or forgot to meet us, despite doing a thumbs up to Jonny on his way off the pitch.

Oasis - Stop The Clocks EP (13.11.2006)

In terms of reviewing Oasis singles, which I aim to do all of them on here eventually, this one conjures up a bit of an enigma. In November 2006 Oasis released an EP/4 track CD/Single called "Stop The Clocks." In contrast to their previous 10 UK singles, this one contained 4 songs instead of 3 and was therefore strictly not a single, and wasn't eligible for chart entry. However had it been, it would have reached number 5 a month before Christmas. Another part of the enigma was that the actual Noel Gallagher song "Stop The Clocks" wasn't the main track on the single, nor did it even appear on the single. The song "Stop The Clocks" as written by Noel Gallagher in 2001 has never been released or been featured on any official Oasis release, and I'm not sure why. It is a great song...What Oasis chose to do instead was released a double album of their "Best Of" and call it "Stop The Clocks", and to accompany this and to promote its release they also decided to release this short EP, also called "Stop The Clocks." Neither CD contain the song "Stop The Clocks", and i really should have stopped the clocks to tell you that. What we got back in November 2006 was actually a tidy wee cardboard square CD with some kind of ancient board game/sundial/clock on the front and 4 songs we already had. But we got free stickers and the gratitude of another Oasis release during the lull in decent music.

First track is the rocky Acquiesce, which isn't a personal favourite but always performs well live. It's the same version as the one I previously reviewed on the "Some Might Say" single. Second up we have a 1993 demo of "Cigarettes and Alcohol", Oasis fanatics will note the more calm, less angry Liam Gallagher and the lacking of the stressing and lengthening of certain words on this demo version. "Sunshine", "Imagination" and "Aggravation" are actually left out of this version, it is a refreshing change. After this we get a "venue unknown" live version of Oasis first number one single "Some Might Say", again no new material, but a nice alternate version for the die hard fans. This simple 4 track EP concludes with "The Masterplan", a track which was originally released in October 1995 as the 4th track on the Wonderwall single. In 1998, it appeared on a special Oasis B-sides compilation, also called "The Masterplan". Here, in late 2006 the song was re-released again on this, as well as appearing on the double "best of album", Stop The Clocks. A well travelled Oasis track, that which even got its own video to help pump up sales of this release. A tidy wee EP by Oasis, but nothing new and nothing to set the world alight. Well, you know what some might say.


Released - 13the November 2006

Title - Stop The Clocks EP

Highest UK Chart Position - Didn't chart due to its 4 track format, if it had of done it would have been number 5

Tracks - Acquiesce/Cigarettes & Alcohol (demo)/Some Might Say (live in 95, venue unknown), The Masterplan

Missing - Stop The Clocks, Lord Don't Slow Me Down, Who Put The Weight Of The World On My Shoulders?

STOP THE CLOCKS VIDEO:


LORD DON'T SLOW ME DOWN VIDEO:


ACQUIESCE, Be Here Now Promo video:


CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL demo:


SOME MIGHT SAY live, Knebworth 1996:


THE MASTERPLAN VIDEO, 2006:

Election Day!

Today before work, I took my polling card to the local Methodist church in Southbourne and voted. I have always believed everyone should vote, and I normally look down on those who don't. You can hardly blame me, I come from Northern Ireland. I am proud that I have voted in every possible election in my life, since being 18. I hope you all voted. It may not be local or national elections, but the UK's representatives in the EU are equally important. Above all, we are people. I just wish the UK introduced a system like Australia where you get fined if you don't vote.

Results tomorrow...

Perhaps it coincides with the end of Gordon Brown's reign as UK Prime Minister:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8083585.stm

The Holy Bible

In case you think this is a rant or a post about religion, then its not!! Please read on...This is a blog post about an album of music and art all in one. A musical album which was released in August 1994 and is one of my favourite albums of all time. The band come from Blackwood in Wales (UK). The band are called Manic Street Preachers. "The Holy Bible" is a masterpiece and is my favourite album by them. It was their third album, following "Generation Terrorists" and "Gold Against The Soul" into the UK charts and imprinting a certain darkness on the music scene. The album was the last to feature lyricist and guitarist Richey James Edwards while we knew he was here. 7 months after this album was released, Richey James Edwards disappeared and has never been seen since. However his legacy and genius will live on, mainly through this album "The Holy Bible", but also through his contribution to further Manic Street Preachers albums "Everything Must Go" and "Lipstick Traces." These albums contains some lyrics and ideas from Richey, as the other 3 band members decided to continue despite Richey's departure. Life for Manic Street Preachers has gone full circle again though, with the release of the latest album, "Journal For Plague Lovers." This album was released two weeks ago, and is the final contribution from Richey to the Manic Street Preachers. All the lyrics on it were left by him from around the Holy Bible era. You could box the two albums together and play them together and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. We look today at part one of that set, "THE HOLY BIBLE."

When picking up the album itself, it looks rather scary. Using Russian letters and a scary painting of an obese woman, the white covered album gives you the impression that the music will be rough, dark, powerful and perhaps mellow. It isn't mellow, but it is very dark, depressing, powerful and informative. I say informative because the lyrics mean something, they serve as a history to the world. Discussing issues such as poverty, rape, communism, the holocaust, anorexia, alcoholism and racism in America, I found myself gaining knowledge and history as I went. Lyrics of intelligence and meaning.In between songs and at the start of songs there are also many quotes from famous people. These serve as further bleak moments in an album to bring sombre smiles and to make cheerful people realise life isn't always fun for everyone. The first track "Yes" discusses prostituion, citing that "everything is for sale" and that in some societies the male is preferred to the female or vice versa as this cruel line specifies, "he's a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock...call him Rita if you want." By the end of the song we have already witnessed solitude as the song fades out on the lyric "these sunless afternoons I can't find myself." We are already lost and intrigued by this album. Lyrics like this do not appear anywhere else in my record collection. In the second song "If white america told the truth for one day its world would fall apart" we enter the USA, Cuba and even Nicaragua. The world tour takes us to the White House where Richey ponders the impact of race "vital stats - how white was their", sex comes into it as well "a pimp fucked a priest", and even "Zapruder - was the first to masturbate." I recently drew a comparison with "Peeled Apples" from current album "Journal For Plague Lovers" based mainly on the mention of the word "apple" and the impact of both songs as instant. Another spooky thing about this song is the vocal reciting the song name over the actual song itself. Listen carefully and try not to be moved, as James Dean Bradfield cuts it out by mentioning the gun and the fact that "Sam Colt made him equal." By the time the horror of "Of Walking Abortion" has hit us, we know the Manic Street Preachers are detailing dark times here. Fascist is mentioned vividly the hanging of Mussolini, and the screening of Hungarian leader Horthy are drawn upon in a life where we are responsible, or more directly scream the band "whos responsible? you fucking are." An interesting end to the track which brings us to radio friendly "She Is Suffering."

Even this song has us intrigued by its weirdness. Nothing here is normal for your ears. The album is so different to any other album in the UK at that time. There is no happy attitude like "Parklife" from Blur, "Girl From Mars" by Ash or "Slide Away" from Oasis. This is dark. When you hear the base beat of "Archives of Pain" you're in for a real shock on how gruesome the world is. Coupled with the other song "The Intense Humming Of Evil" these songs detail Russia and Germany, World War 2, the horrors of Jewish extermination, concentration camps and obvious killers. Listen to them and catch the lyrics. A dark bleak one here is "a drained white body hanging from the gallows is more righteous than Hindley's crotchet lectures." This is serving as a history of crime as well. You need to research the music before getting up to dance or singing it in work. By the time Russian communism is mixed with modes of sex in the sixth song Revol, you are already in love with the genius here. The song "Revol" itself was somehow a single. Probably the only single in world history to mention Lenin, Che Guevara, Napoleon and Pol Pot all in one. A photo of the deceased Lenin accompanys the scary lyrics in the album sleeve. Revol itself means nothing, it is lover backwards or short for revolution. The music is art and it works though.

Anorexia sufferers will bang on the song that mentions Twiggy and Kate Moss, itself being weighed in its own title, four stone seven pounds. If an adult was really that light, it would almost die.The song is sombre, downbeat and was once performed acoustically for MTV. A true gem to mention taboo-ish subject on commercial TV. The closing line has us all staring into space at our belly buttons, or even our willies for some reason "I've finally come to understand life through staring blankly at my navel." Indeed. This is genius beyond itself. I bet even Richey finds it hard to decipher what exactly he meant. The ruff and rugged "Mausoleum" dangles itself in yet more world history and horror before we are met by track 9, the epic first single, "Faster", a true representation comercially of how such an album can reach the masses. In a bizarre chorus line we believe that the author is "stronger than Mensa" and by the end of the song we realise how bleak and sad life really is, "man kills everything." Seriously powerful this band and this album. This song played live gives a raw edge to a happy clappy crowd of "Everything Must Go" lovers. You need your balance though and the Nicky Wire written song "This Is Yesterday" is the Manic Street Preachers at their melancholy best. The song a total night time classic against an ageing sky. "I stare at the sky and it leaves me blind. I close my eyes and this is yesterday." Even if it isn't you sometimes imagine it is. I love it. A mellow calm song in amongst all this Nazi, political and sexual references. For balance its needed, especially before a song about death itself. Perhaps Richey penned this around the same time as "William's Last words" as both songs seem to draw on death, suicide and disappearance. I myself am nobody to shy away from suicide. Even people with money and a good life can get suicidal and sad. It comes down to Maslow's heirarchy of needs sometimes. People who have nothing can be happier than people with everything. Richey James Edwards had the money from his musical career and celebrity status. He didn't seem to have happiness however, and the lyrics show this melancholia. "my heart shrinks to barely a pulse" and "i want to die in the summertime" are surely lyrics you wouldn't find Britney Spears dancing to. Perhaps the reality hits you here. This is life, whether you like it or not, this is real life. Don't be shy about death or your problems. Face it. In an era where Kurt Cobain wrote "i'm so happy cos today i found my friends they're in my head" then you know you shouldn't fake a smile.

After this, two tracks fade the album out having given us a total lesson and lecture on life. I remember the first time I bought this album, I played it constantly for weeks. I never got bored of it and I always wanted to learn more and interpret the lyrics again and again. I still play it loads. Lengthy track "The Intense Humming Of Evil" mentions Nazi Germany and the jewish concentration camps. This darkness is echoed in the music, pipes of horrir appear over a scary guitar riff. Even the drum beat sounds like a walking skeleton who "never mattered" and was "bled to a machine" in places such as Dacchau or Auswitz during Hitler's regime. An image of the concentration camp message "Arbeit Macht Frei" displays the brutal irony of it all. Even if you don't speak German/Deutsch you should know that work doesn't make you free. A comparison with the ensuing single (albeit not until April 1996) can be seen where the line "then work came and made us free" sneaks into the number 2 single "A Design For Life." Intentionally that album varies, for the darkness of the Holy Bible has to be condemned to the history books. You hardly even notice the A-side track "PCP" at the album's end. Its probably the least emphatic track on it, and I'm not even going to guess what "PCP" stands for. Its so bizarre to even consider. As is the whole album. It is a total masterpiece. I urge you to buy it.

2004 saw the 10 year anniversary of this album and a special edition was released then, including USA remixes and a DVD of some performances at the time, the most vivacious of which was an appearance on Top of The Pops to play top ten hit single Faster. The band used fire on stage and wore balaclavas in military style. At a time when the IRA were still bombing Northern Ireland and England, it was perhaps not a great idea. The performance of the song though is excellent and the appearance received the most amount of complaints ever in the history of the now dead Top of The Pops. All in all, I just wanted to pay homage to a great album, one which has helped me through depression and continues to do so. It is amazing that the latest album "Journal For Plague Lovers" resembles the bleak, dark vibe that "The Holy Bible" brought about. The Manic Street Preachers are truly back to their best and the genius of Richey James Edwards will never be forgotten. Here's some facts about the album, followed by some videos and other bits and pieces...

1. YES - LIVE AT GLASTONBURY 1994


Band - Manic Street Preachers

Album - The Holy Bible

Release Date - 30th August 1994

Tracks - Yes. If White America Told The Truth For One Day Its World Would Fall Apart. Of Walking Abortion. She Is Suffering. Archives of Pain. Revol. 4st 7lb. Mausoleum. Faster. This Is Yesterday. Die In The Summertime. The Intense Humming Of Evil. PCP.

Singles - Faster/PCP. She Is Suffering. Revol.

2. IF WHITE AMERICA TOLD THE TRUTH FOR ONE DAY ITS WORLD WOULD FALL APART


3. OF WALKING ABORTION - LIVE


10th Anniversary edition track listing

CD 1: Digitally Re-mastered Original Album + Live Tracks
"Yes" - 5:00
"Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit'sworldwouldfallapart" - 3:39
"Of Walking Abortion" - 4:01
"She Is Suffering" - 4:43
"Archives of Pain" - 5:29
"Revol" - 3:04
"4st 7lb" - 5:05
"Mausoleum" - 4:12
"Faster" - 3:55
"This Is Yesterday" - 3:57
"Die in the Summertime" - 3:05
"The Intense Humming of Evil" - 6:12
"P.C.P." - 3:58
"The Intense Humming of Evil" - Live - 4:58
"4st 7lb" - Live - 4:44
"Yes" - Live - 4:30
"Of Walking Abortion" - Live - 3:47

4. SHE IS SUFFERING - VIDEO


CD 2: US mix of album/Demos & Radio Sessions
"Yes" - 5:19
"Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit'sworldwouldfallapart" - 3:43
"Of Walking Abortion" - 4:07
"She Is Suffering" - 4:57
"Archives of Pain" - 5:30
"Revol" - 3:05
"4st 7lb" - 5:10
"Mausoleum" - 4:13
"Faster" - 3:53
"This Is Yesterday" - 3:58
"Die in the Summertime" - 3:07
"The Intense Humming of Evil" - 6:14
"P.C.P." - 3:57
"Die in the Summertime" - Demo - 2:26
"Mausoleum" - Demo - 3:29
"Of Walking Abortion" - Radio1 Evening Session - 3:39
"She Is Suffering" - Radio1 Evening Session - 4:25
Yes" - Radio1 Evening Session - 4:40

5. ARCHIVES OF PAIN - LIVE AT READING


6. REVOL - VIDEO


7. 4ST 7LB


DVD
"Faster" - Top Of The Pops
"Faster" - Butt Naked
"P.C.P." - Butt Naked
"She Is Suffering" - Butt Naked
"4st 7lb" - MTV Most Wanted
"She Is Suffering" - MTV Most Wanted
"Faster" - Glastonbury '94
"P.C.P." - Glastonbury '94
"Yes" - Glastonbury '94
"Revol" - Reading '94
"Faster" - US Video
"Judge Yr'self" - Video
"Yes" - New film (made by Patrick Jones)
"Band Interview" (30mins)

8. MAUSOLEUM


Singles

"Faster/P.C.P." (June 6, 1994) - #16
"Revol" (August 1, 1994) - #22
"She Is Suffering" (October 3, 1994) - #25


9. FASTER - LIVE ON TOTP (many complaints)


10. THIS IS YESTERDAY - LIVE AT GLASTONBURY 2003


11. DIE IN THE SUMMERTIME - LIVE AT GLASTONBURY


12. THE INTENSE HUMMING OF EVIL - LIVE (work is good for the soul)


13. PCP - LIVE AT GLASTONBURY 1994


THE SONG THAT CAME LATER, IN 2003...JUDGE Y'RSELF: